Hello, Hope Birther!

Welcome to Birthing Hope! Come on in!

But before you have a look around, I’d love to tell you the story of how all this came to be.

First, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Donloyn (rhymes with salon). I am a daughter of God The Father Almighty, wife to my loving husband and mother of 8 (yes, EIGHT!) beautiful blessings. I am a writer and an artist and a lover of all things inspiring.

Here’s the story of Birthing Hope…

My year 2020 began with grand promises of HOPE! Hope was my focus word for the year, given to me directly from The LORD. I became a student of Hope. I immersed myself in scriptures and quotes surrounding it. I journaled about it. I wrote poems about it. I had conversations about it. I even taught three sessions at a women’s conference in January that centered around it.

I planted it like seeds in the rich soil of my heart. And, as its blooms burst forth, Hope and all its fragrant beauty permeated every area of my life.

On January 19, 2020, we received news of the most beautiful “Hope Bloom” of all…I was pregnant! After the initial shock (we weren’t trying and I’m 47!), we were ecstatic! Hope was having its way with us, and I was experiencing joy on a whole new level.

During this time, the word “Hope” swirled in and around my mind, as did the word “Birthing.” Birthing was my focus word for 2019. But for some reason, I couldn’t let it go. As if it still held a certain level of significance. I felt a strong connection between the two words and would often say them together aloud..“Birthing Hope.” And after we received the news of our pregnancy, it became clear why…I would be giving Birth to Hope!

I had a knowing in my heart that the unexpected life growing inside of me was a gift…a seed and a promise of Hope.

I felt a prompting in my spirit to secure the domain name BirthingHope.com, and, much to my delight, it was available. I didn’t know what would come of this site exactly, but I knew it would be something special.

I was so happy…filled with an indescribable joy. We all were! We were making plans and tossing around ideas. Chatter of a new house and possible room assignments floated between the kids. We even settled on a name…Julianna Hope Gadson, “J-Hope” for short! My husband even began plans to design and build her cradle.

But sadly, plans for a custom-made cradle and dreams of holding our precious girl came to screeching halt.

On March 1, 2020, I miscarried our sweet Hope. Our lives were turned upside down and my heart was shattered. Every bloom of Hope in my life seemed to die, simultaneously. I thought I would never stop crying.

The loss of the baby hit me hard. I found myself in a state of uncertainty and doubt…an emotional, mental and spiritual quandary. I couldn’t reconcile the miscarriage of my pregnancy with all the promises The LORD had spoken and confirmed to me. When I placed those promises next to my reality, there was no equal sign in between. The equation was imbalanced. Something didn’t add up.

So I began to ask The LORD questions. Hard questions. I began searching for wisdom and understanding. And I did so with honesty. Honesty with myself and honesty with God.

I didn’t speak with anyone but my husband and children. I deliberately closed myself off from friends and family. I wasn’t ready to talk and had zero interest in hearing any meaningless platitudes. All I wanted was answers. And those answers needed to come from God.

Those answers came. They came in the form of one word…

HOPE.

There was that word again.

In re-hearing that word, I was reminded of its meaning. I was reminded of its power. I was reminded that I was to cling to that word in its entirety. And what better time to cling to Hope than when things seem hopeless.

The LORD also brought me to this scripture at Hosea 2:14,15:

“Therefore I am now going to allure her;
    I will lead her into the wilderness
    and speak tenderly to her.
¹⁵ There I will give her back her vineyards,
    and will make the Valley of Achor [or the Valley of Trouble] a door of hope.
There she will respond [or sing] as in the days of her youth,
    as in the day she came up out of Egypt.”

This scripture is a perfect depiction of where I was. I was literally lured and led into an emotional and spiritual wilderness. That sounds harsh, but this scripture is filled with promise! It’s filled with HOPE! This scripture says He will speak tenderly to me, give me back my vineyards (that’s fruitfulness!), and make this Valley of Trouble a doorway of Hope!

I meditated on this scripture. I prayed. I cried. I worshiped. I pressed in. I processed. I dealt with the emotional crud that began to surface as a result of the loss. I did the dirty work. And all the while, I held on tightly to Hope. I chose Hope. I replanted the seeds of Hope that I had dug up in my moments of despair. I cleansed my spiritual womb and made space for Hope to grow inside of me once again.

When that shift took place, I knew that BirthingHope.com had to be introduced to the world. It had to be a place of Hope…a place of Honesty and Healing, freshness and laughter. A place for the mind, body and spirit to be nurtured. A space to inspire women to create hope-filled lives. A space that radiates and BIRTHS HOPE!

And here I am, just five months later…healed, whole, happy and filled with HOPE!

It is my prayer that you find all of that and more here. It is my prayer that you leave these pages feeling more hope-filled than before.

Cruise the site! Let me know what you think. If there’s something hope-inspired you need and you don’t see it here, then contact me with suggestions. I want you to become pregnant with Hope! And I want to be your Midwife!

And always remember to…